From Parenting SA - Parent Easy Guides.

The following is an extract from the above PEG.

Separation and divorce mean the end of a marriage, the end of a partnership between two adults, not the end of a relationship between children and a parent. Children need the ongoing love and support of both parents. This means that parents need to be able to cooperate with each other over plans for their children. This means making the shift from being marriage partners to parenting partners (something more like business partners). Many parents do not handle this well and some create more suffering for children who are already in pain from the separation.

The way in which parents handle separation and divorce has an enormous effect on the way children cope with their lives.

How children react

Children go through this same grieving process. However, because they probably don't really understand why it is happening they often feel:

	shocked
	angry and sad about the loss of the family unit
	abandoned or rejected by the parent who leaves
	afraid that if one parent has 'left' the other one may also leave
	confused about whether it is alright to love the parent who no longer lives with them
	guilty, as though the separation must somehow be their fault
	worried about the parent who is not living with them. Children often don't have the words to express themselves clearly, so they show their grief in different ways. They may:
	become aggressive or 'naughty'
	withdraw
	become 'clingy'
	act younger than they are (eg children who have been toilet-trained may start to wet or soil again)
	have nightmares, or find it hard to go to sleep
	change their eating patterns. How parents can feel As a parent you might feel:
	exhausted or resentful from the day to day responsibilities of parenting alone
	confused about your child's behaviour
	angry if you feel the other parent is unreliable or unfair
	lonely when your children are not with you
	afraid that your children may not want to be with you and prefer the other parent
	apprehensive about dealing with the legal process

	good because you have made plans to share the parenting and take care of your children's needs
	pleasure in having fun with your child
	glad that you have more free time.

What the law says