|Note:||To the best of my knowledge the humour used in this web page is in the public domain.|
Man who run in front of car, get tired.
Man who run behind car, get exhausted.
Passionate kiss like spiders web - soon lead to undoing of fly.
War doesn't determine who's right - war determines who's left.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out.
Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
Man who sit on tack get point.
Man who lives in glass house should change in basement.
Strip Mining Prevents Forest Fires.
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
The trouble with life is there's no background music.
Money isn't everything, But it sure keeps the kids in touch.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Losing a husband can be hard. In my case it was almost impossible.
We have enough youth. How about a fountain of "Smart"?
Two wrongs do not make a right, but three lefts do.
Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?
Schizophrenia beats being alone.
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
A thing not worth doing isn't worth doing well.
Time is just nature's way to keep everything from happening at once.
Hard work never killed anyone, but why chance it?
I don't have a solution; but I do admire the problem.
A picture is worth a thousand words but it uses up a thousand times the memory.
If a thing is worth doing it would have been done already.
Two can live as cheaply as one... for half as long.
HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig.
Good Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career.
"The person is thinking: Yeah, I really do love him.
But I hope he showers at least once a day."
"It's never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you...
That's why I stopped doing it."
On any call, there will always be more 'bad guys' than there are good guys, and the farther away your back-up, the more there will be.
The better you do your job, the more likely you are to be shot, injured, complained on, sued, investigated, or subpoenaed on your day off.
If a large group of drunk bikers is "holed-up" in a house, the Department will send one officer in a beat car. If there is one biker "holed-up" in a house, they will send the entire S.W.A.T. Team.
Bullet Proof' vests, aren't.
The bigger they are, the harder they fall. They also punch, kick and choke harder too.
Tear gas works on officers too, and regardless of wind direction, will always blow back in your face.
High speed chases will always proceed from an area of light traffic to an area of extremely heavy traffic.
Placing a gun back in a shoulder holster with your finger on the trigger will cause you to walk with a limp.
If you have 'cleared' all the rooms and met no resistance, you and your entry team have probably kicked in the door of the wrong house.
Domestic arguments will always migrate from an area of few available weapons (living room), to an area with many available weapons (kitchen).
When a civilian sees a blue light approaching at a high rate of speed, he will always pull into the lane the officer needs to use.
If you drive your patrol car to the geometric centre of the Gobi Desert, within five minutes some dumb civilian will pull along side you and ask for directions.
You can never drive slow enough to please the citizens who don't need a officer, and you can never drive fast enough to please the ones who do.
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